Sad Songs Say So Much

A mysterious visitor showed up in my classroom today to let me know how he’s doing. It’s been about a year since I saw him last, and at that time he was recovering from shotgun wounds. Prior to that I saw him just after he’d dropped out of school. Prior to that I saw him as a student about to dropout, and prior to that he was my student.

He gave me hell my first year of teaching, and there’s no way I’ll ever forget this kid. Not because he gave me hell, and certainly not because his story is a sad one, but because this is the student who has so much potential. He’s the kid with that hidden drive. The kid with something brewing and bubbling down in him, but who hasn’t yet figured it out.

• This is the kid who doesn’t do shit in your class, even though you know he could.
• And this isn’t the kid who can do all that stuff and can prove it to you in conversation, but won’t do the work.
• This is the kid who could do it all, but who refuses to show you his understanding.
• This is the kid whose reputation is so at stake that he will not be the person he could be.

And yet it’s been four years since I’ve seen him. And yet I can’t keep this kid out of my head.

Every time he shows up, it’s a surprise. He couldn’t have surprised me more than he did today. He said:

“I’m a dad.”
“I’m not working.”
“There are people who are trying to keep me from my son.”
“I spent the last few months in jail.”
“There’s a warrant out for my arrest.”
“I’m trying to complete my GED.”

I won’t add much else to this story, but let it speak for itself. I love this kid dearly, and see that he’s growing into a man. I see he’s making excuses as often as he makes poor decisions. I’ll cast unbaited hopes for him into murky ether, trawling for lucky tugs, because he deserves that. At least.