Whoa.

Whoa. In the Keanu sense, that is. “Whoa” in that I feel completely overwhelmed by the overall state of things; “Whoa” in the sense that I’m constantly trying to regain a grasp on what’s being taught, what’s going out the window, and what’s necessity; “Whoa” in that the school year has passed so quickly. I’m at a lack of words to describe just how awful and trying this year has been, and yet I’m at a stage similar to late May in my previous three years as a teacher: suction/desperation/preparation.

Suction

We know it and the kids know it — the school year is drawing near. Much nearer than it was a month ago, when our focus was lost in state testing; much nearer than it was two weeks ago when we tried to preach ‘We’re still learning, dammit!’ to the kids; and much nearer than it has been since so many of the teachers in my school have posted countdown calendars on their walls.

We’ve got one week to go, and today and tomorrow are our “Finals Days.” In my school, finals are honored. They contribute 10% to each student’s grade, and we’re required to break up those finals so that each student only takes three finals per day — 2nd period, 4th period, and 6th period took their finals today. 1st, 5th, and 7th take theirs tomorrow. We’re supposed to follow this schedule and not veer beyond its boundaries. A major exception is given to the math classes who proctor a lengthy final and get prior permission to do so.

Nevertheless, I followed my gut and began my finals yesterday. And I’m giving three days to the students to complete it. It’s a 36 question, written test asking them to discuss Characterization, Mood, Tone, Theme, Conflict, and lessons learned (outside of ‘theme’) acrossSix different literary works. I took the test myself, and I was not able to complete it in the time we have allotted for the finals — that’s why I began the test two days in advance. And even in two days, only 11 students actually completed the thing. That means the rest of the kids (uhh…that’d be the other 169) have yet another day to write out their thoughts on paper.

As a kid I was never one to break the rules, but as an adult I feel I have a grasp when there’s a necessity to ignore them. Last year I got into a bit of trouble in not following the finals schedule, and I’m repeating that action this year to allow my students to give forth their best work. I’d like to think this doesn’t affect the students and doesn’t hamper their abilities to complete their other finals, but the final we English teachers gave this year is a lengthy one, and the kids deserve as much time as possible to complete it. And like I said: even with two days work, only 11 kids have finished it.

Nevertheless, many kids have checked out completely. Some kids are leaving school for the remainder of the year for family trips. Some kids are missing their finals. Some kids are just sitting there staring at the test sheet. Some kids are just scribbling all over it. The suction of summer is a strong one, and for our kids (who do not need to actually pass any classes in order to move on to high school) the finals don’t mean anything; neither does the entire school year. Sitting silent is a common test answer.

Desperation

I’m a mess, and my classroom is a mess. The way I’ve dealt with kids is a mess. The entire environment in my room is “scatter.” As we move into the final days, the kids care less and less about their own belongings — I have a stack of personal pictures and posters and videos and essays, stories, poems, and binders waiting to be taken, but the owners never show. I have boxes of my own items waiting to move to the new school, and the kids keep nagging about the state of my chairs instead of asking for their own materials.

This week I even mentioned (to the hordes of kids asking me for pens, pencils, and paper) that I gave them materials at the start of the year — that if they don’t have anything now, it should be in a folder at the back of the room. Several got up, searched for those things, and even said: “Whoa! Here’s my notebook! And a PEN!” But after they led the charge, their actions were followed with comments of: “So gay.”

And I can’t deny that I have my own sights set on the coming year of school, in a new school. I, too, have set sail, in a sense. I’m not without blame.

Preparation

But before I take on that upcoming school year (and believe me, man, I have some drastic changes planned for the structure and action of my own teaching (more to come)), I have to worry about summer school.

See, I’m the summer school administrator, and just getting that going is a process in itself. For the summer session I have four teachers — myself included — who will work to give a selection of students those skills they need for the upcoming year. Those skills deal with the interpersonal, the written, the research, and the basics of math and science, and we provide these thing so that the kids don’t forget any of them over the summer.

But getting students signed up is a hassle, and it’s taken much of the past two weeks (both at work and at home) to accomplish that. And getting ahold of the parents is a hassle — some parents give you 6 contact numbers and none work. And getting kids to understand that summer school isn’t a punishment is a hassle. And getting parents to not tell you their personal problems (when all you want to do is talk to them about their kids’ strengths and weaknesses) is a hassle. And there are numerous more hassles dealing with paperwork, bussing, incentives, snacks, receipts, funding, etc.

But the one thing that I’m working on, and am crossing my fingers about, is that I’d also like to invite a number of stronger students to also attend the summer program. I want some of the best and brightest there to take part as peer mentors; to help the kids learn and to help the teachers teach — kids who already know the materials and who will provide that inside voice of “It’s really not that difficult, all you have to do is…” I’m working to select four students who could take part in the summer school program and work as teachers, as well as complete a portfolio of the work they do over the summer, and trying to find a way for them to earn high school credit.

That’s a lot of balls in the air. Keeping my eye on them is one problem. Catching and releasing them is another, and I’ll let you know when I drop one. Hopefully I’ll let you know that they’re all still airborne before they fall.

Cheers to the end of your school year.